Regrettably, I'm at a loss for how to begin this story. I simply can not take my gaze away from it.
The public is enraged by Bear Grylls' handlebar mustache.
We shrugged our shoulders when he drank reindeer blood. We excused him when he gutted a camel and then climbed inside. We glossed over the fact that he drank his own urine from a snake. But now that Bear Grylls has sported the most heinous of mustache styles—the handlebar mustache—we've lost it.
This morning (Friday 22nd November), the television presenter, adventurer, and occasional p*ss drinker appeared on ITV's Good Morning Britain to discuss his latest work with Tusk, an African wildlife conservation charity. So... is he attempting to endow himself with tusks? It has to be a public relations stunt.
Bear Grylls sports a mustache reminiscent of a 1970s pornstar.
Unfortunately, as soon as Grylls began discussing his recent charity work with Tusk on Good Morning Britain, the internet became obsessed with the adventurer's distinctive 'tache – and why, why was also a big question. That is about the worst thing a man can do with his facial hair. I'm all for a well-groomed beard and a well-maintained mustache, but the handlebar mustache is one of those looks that belongs in the '70s—on some sticky pornographic set floor.
Within minutes, social media users were drawing comparisons between Grylls' facial hair and that of a "'70s pornstar." And how can you blame them?
Bear Grylls Explains the Story Behind His New Moustache | Good Morning Britain
As one Twitter user put it:
So Bear Grylls now sports a 1970s pornstar mustache to match his 1970s pornstar moniker "GoodMorningBritain."
Another individual tweeted:
"Bear Grylls, mustache you a question. #GMB." That one tickled me — I'm sure Bear is familiar with that sensation.
You're getting the picture.
I've always found myself apologizing before I've said anything!
Grylls, thankfully, is fully aware of his less-than-desirable Ron Jeremy-Esque exterior and has assured us all that it is not permanent. He made a joke:
I've always found myself apologizing before I've said anything!
As it turns out, Grylls grew a beard during a recent stint in the jungle but chose not to trim it prior to attending a Marines dinner. Yes, because that's far superior—despite his wife's objections.
"I assumed it was Movember; after all, why not?"
So I'm going to get rid of it for our new Netflixseries starting next week, so I'm going to get rid of it for that – but it's Movember, so why not? "he explained.
"This is a new endeavor and, as my family puts it, a temporary endeavor."
The actor explained that he was growing it as part of Movember, an annual event in which participants grow moustaches to raise awareness about men's health issues.
He joked about his facial fur, saying, "I find myself in situations where I have to apologize before they can say anything."
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