If You Give A Woman A Horse
If you give a woman a horse, she will want some boots and a hat, and a saddle to ride in. She will want to ride her horse all the time, so she will also need a watch to remind her to tell people she will be late coming home from the barn.
Author:Dr. Felix ChaosphereReviewer:Xander OddityOct 06, 20234.1K Shares159.1K Views
If you give a woman a horse, she will want some boots and a hat, and a saddle to ride in. She will want to ride her horse all the time, so she will also need a watch to remind her to tell people she will be late coming home from the barn.
She will want to fill her house with horse pictures, horse books, magazines and useful tack she finds online and at barn sales. If she reads her horse magazines, she will get inspired and set big goals for herself, like riding her horse in a local show. She will, of course, need a truck and trailer to take her horse to the show, and a bigger room to hold her future ribbons.
In order to do well, she will want a trainer to help her get better at riding, and a chiropractor, saddle fitter, farrier, vet, nutritionist, physical therapist and an acupuncturist for her horse. She will fill her life with friends as passionate and horse crazy as she is.
She will learn the hard stuff like self-control, falling down and getting back on, patience, courage, self-esteem, independence and giving your whole heart to another creature who is somehow as fragile and unbreakable as you are.
She will have to be up all night walking and pacing, taking vitals and praying with desperation, hoping against hope for a steaming pile of poo to finally appear. When it does, she will call you at 2 am crying happy tears and need you to bring her coffee and a hug.
She will love her horse and learn to love herself. She will need an understanding family and a good paying job. She will learn to balance her dreams and needs and wants, and how to hold someone else’s hand and the reins of her horse with grace.
Through it all, as the sun rises and sets, she will walk out the years with her horse, her best friend, at her side. Deep in her beautiful seasoned-horsewoman-heart, she will always be grateful to you for giving a woman a horse.
Dr. Felix Chaosphere
Author
Dr. Felix Chaosphere, a renowned and eccentric psychiatrist, is a master of unraveling the complexities of the human mind. With his wild and untamed hair, he embodies the essence of a brilliant but unconventional thinker. As a sexologist, he fearlessly delves into the depths of human desire and intimacy, unearthing hidden truths and challenging societal norms.
Beyond his professional expertise, Dr. Chaosphere is also a celebrated author, renowned for his provocative and thought-provoking literary works. His written words mirror the enigmatic nature of his persona, inviting readers to explore the labyrinthine corridors of the human psyche.
With his indomitable spirit and insatiable curiosity, Dr. Chaosphere continues to push boundaries, challenging society's preconceived notions and inspiring others to embrace their own inner tumult.
Xander Oddity
Reviewer
Xander Oddity, an eccentric and intrepid news reporter, is a master of unearthing the strange and bizarre. With an insatiable curiosity for the unconventional, Xander ventures into the depths of the unknown, fearlessly pursuing stories that defy conventional explanation. Armed with a vast reservoir of knowledge and experience in the realm of conspiracies, Xander is a seasoned investigator of the extraordinary.
Throughout his illustrious career, Xander has built a reputation for delving into the shadows of secrecy and unraveling the enigmatic. With an unyielding determination and an unwavering belief in the power of the bizarre, Xander strives to shed light on the unexplained and challenge the boundaries of conventional wisdom. In his pursuit of the truth, Xander continues to inspire others to question the world around them and embrace the unexpected.
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