People Are Putting Kiwi On Pizza And Social Media Can’t Handle It
Apparently people are putting kiwi on their pizza now. Call the fuzz, ’cause this is criminal. ‘Cause kiwis are fuzzy! Whatever, I just ran that joke by my mum and she cackled. CACKLED.
Author:Xander OddityReviewer:Dr. Felix ChaosphereOct 14, 202219.3K Shares438.6K Views
Apparently people are putting kiwi on their pizza now. Call the fuzz, ’cause this is criminal. ‘Cause kiwis are fuzzy! Whatever, I just ran that joke by my mum and she cackled. CACKLED.
If you’re one of those people that doesn’t like pineapple on your pizza, may I suggest you stop reading this article now, ’cause this story is just going to unsettle you.
I’ll rip the plaster off the rest of you: some people like kiwis on their pizza.
Would You Eat A Kiwi Pizza?
Seriously? WTF? Just when you’ve accepted that the world has gone completely f**king mad and you’ve thrown in the towel on humans altogether, someone goes and makes kiwis on pizza a thing, and makes you hate everything just that little bit more.
I mean I get how pineapple on pizza is a bit of a marmite situation, but I genuinely can’t think of one human being in my life who would want to much down on a pizza topped with f**king kiwis. Yuck.
The internet went ballistic (rightly so) when a Twitter user posted this snap of a “pizza” they was served in Denmark, while on holiday. Since then, the image has been doing the rounds online, and generally causing a s**tstorm of outrage and disgust.
Ranba_Ral (@Ranba_Ral) says, "I have can now say I have witnessed hell."
The Twitter user wrote, “This is so terrifying I can’t even type gud now. It’s worse than I thought.”
Is it just me, or do the kiwi slices actually makes the pizza look ill? Like it’s dying to be eaten and put out of its misery.
I genuinely can’t look at it for too long; it’s weirdly setting off my trypophobia.
According to Mike Moss (@_MikeMoss), "Now look where we are… Pineapple was just a gateway topping. I've been saying for years…"
Another said, “This is a travesty to pizza everywhere.”
Not Everyone Is Hating On Kiwi Pizza
Then there was this Twitter user, who saw this pizza as some sort of deity.
According toFoment Liberty (@FomentLiberty),“Sorry, but looks possibly awesome. That’s the beauty of pizza; it’s both nature’s most perfect food and comes in endless varieties.”
I’m not really meant to say this @FomentLiberty, but you’re wrong. You’re just plain wrong. I really do take personal issue with this. Why on earth would you combine two delicious treats (I love kiwi on its own!) to create something so unholy?
I’m still not really over the likes of gammon and pineapple and fried Mars Bars, but I’ve had years to get used to those. This is just so fresh and sudden.
Conclusion
What do I know, though? I sometimes put ice cubes in my cereal to make the milk colder. We all have our thing.
I’m sorry. I know I’m meant to stay relatively impartial as a journalist, but just look at it. It’s going to haunt my dreams tonight, I just know it.
Xander Oddity
Author
Xander Oddity, an eccentric and intrepid news reporter, is a master of unearthing the strange and bizarre. With an insatiable curiosity for the unconventional, Xander ventures into the depths of the unknown, fearlessly pursuing stories that defy conventional explanation. Armed with a vast reservoir of knowledge and experience in the realm of conspiracies, Xander is a seasoned investigator of the extraordinary.
Throughout his illustrious career, Xander has built a reputation for delving into the shadows of secrecy and unraveling the enigmatic. With an unyielding determination and an unwavering belief in the power of the bizarre, Xander strives to shed light on the unexplained and challenge the boundaries of conventional wisdom. In his pursuit of the truth, Xander continues to inspire others to question the world around them and embrace the unexpected.
Dr. Felix Chaosphere
Reviewer
Dr. Felix Chaosphere, a renowned and eccentric psychiatrist, is a master of unraveling the complexities of the human mind. With his wild and untamed hair, he embodies the essence of a brilliant but unconventional thinker. As a sexologist, he fearlessly delves into the depths of human desire and intimacy, unearthing hidden truths and challenging societal norms.
Beyond his professional expertise, Dr. Chaosphere is also a celebrated author, renowned for his provocative and thought-provoking literary works. His written words mirror the enigmatic nature of his persona, inviting readers to explore the labyrinthine corridors of the human psyche.
With his indomitable spirit and insatiable curiosity, Dr. Chaosphere continues to push boundaries, challenging society's preconceived notions and inspiring others to embrace their own inner tumult.
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